Friday, August 30, 2013

Goodbye, Seamus Heaney

April 13, 1939 - August 30, 2013 


"I credit poetry for making this space-walk possible."  - Seamus Heaney

Another poet promoted to Angel status.  Seamus Heaney, thank you for all of the words you shared, words that enriched the world, words that inspired.  You will be missed.

Take some time today and read your favorite poets, past and present.  Revel in the sweet lyrical art they create.  It's a beautiful thing.

In propinquity, 
Nic


Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Take It On Faith

I decided after a glorious weekend away to give myself the week off from writing.  I started the prompts and then swiftly abandoned them in exchange for down time in Hubbards.  I did intend to write my last prompt on Saturday but I just didn’t get around to it.  I was too busy enjoying this:



My friends and I had a stunning weekend.  We had a scrumptious lobster dinner at the Shore Club, lounged at our Inn on the patio with a breath-taking view of Hubbards Cove drinking wine, laughing, talking and marveled at sun set.  Before long it was time to hike around the corner, back to the Shore Club and cue up for the Matt Mays show.  I have had the good fortune of seeing him play several times but this particular show was, by far, the most outstanding, the most fun.  I attribute it mostly my companions and to the venue because I always have fun there, it’s impossible not to.  The show itself was a hell-on-wheels rock ‘n’ roll show’.  Young River warmed up the stage and got the crowd primed and are quite good all on their own.  As soon as they were finished we took a few large steps and ended up right in the front for Matt Mays.  While it is true that I the next morning my ears were still ringing from being so close to the front monitors, I was ridiculously stuffed up dangerously close to black lung from the smoke machine but my heart was happy.  There is something heartening about Matt’s music, something that sounds like … well … home.  It feels like home to me and offers the sense that I am right where I belong.  Plus, you can belt the tunes out good and loud in a live setting, even if the long skinny fringes of the singer’s swanky black jacket are poking out your eyes and he’s standing on your purse as he sings into the crowd on the mere edge of the gear box the monitors were resting on.  Needless to say, we left the venue happy and sweaty and elated.  Arriving back to work Monday morning was a slap in the face because I was still slightly jubilant from the weekend away.  It was hard to re-adjust to reality after the overwhelming sense of peacefulness I felt in Hubbards, because I was with warm-hearted humans, because I was breathing easy, because I was in a drama-free zone and I was content.  Best weekend getaway in recent memory.  It was much needed and deeply appreciated by all involved.

On Thursday night is also worth mentioning a small delight.  I was sitting at The Carleton having a drink with my friend Heather.  I was seated at the end of the bar by the entrance and a group of people caught my attention when they entered.  I after doing what I’m sure was a tripe take, he shot me a smile.  I looked at Heather and said, “Is that Charlie Sexton!?”  She shrugged at me and sipped her beer but I was determined to find out.  It turns out it was.  I flexed up my the gonads to cart myself over and say hello.  The singer of 80’s hits like ‘Beats So Lonely’ and ‘Impressed’ towered over me, still sporting those perfect cheekbones, he was quite delighted I knew who he was.   I stood and conversed with him for a few minutes, why he was in Halifax, what he’s been up to and a little about the Arc Angels project he did that I love, he has warm hands and a kind disposition.  What a neat thing to have happened.  Completely random and quite cool. 

So this self-imposed writing hiatus is a little bit painful but my days are long this week and by the time I get home my brain is mush and I don’t really have a spare minute to create anything.  I do scribble, words, thoughts, ideas, and names but it isn’t the same.  I look forward to Friday being over and having five whole days off to relax and open my mind back up to all things creative.  I’m itching to finish ‘Large-Hearted’, so that’s a goal.  Fingers crossed.

I’ll take it on faith.

In propinquity,

Nic

Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Ring


The Ring

I lost myself somewhere in the darkness.  Just for a second.  I like to think of it as a little hiccup in my autobiography, nothing shocking, nothing out of the ordinary, and nothing to be ashamed of.  It happens to everyone; sadness will creep in, tarnish your smile and truncate your happiness.  It is temporary, like a writer falling to writer’s block.  It is an interval for them to replenish the well of inspiration, the same kind of idea for me, but someone ordinary with an aversion to activity and proclivity for uninterrupted introversion, a time-out, a mere moment to make room for more joy.  I am inching closer to contentment every day, moving further into the light; just a blip, a wrong turn, a minor setback.  I am on my way.

It is a beautiful day outside in my miniature courtyard retreat.  I like the sense of seclusion so close to the city scape.  The hum of morning traffic just beyond my backyard fence and the shade of tall willowed trees, I feel safe but not alone.  This morning I coil up in my weepy lounge chair with a cup of vanilla oolong tea and take in the tranquil trickle and colours of my koi pond, I take refuge in their hues; midnight blacks, bright reds, creamy yellows, electric blues.  I place a little food in my hand and slowly lower it down into the water to watch them swim to nourish themselves right from my palm.  When I draw my hand out I am aware of the ring on my finger.  I still haven’t taken it off. 


The ring, a gold wire wrap design adorned with a single Swarovski pearl is all I have left to remind me.  The ring, a glimmer of hope, of possibility, a line to the past, where my heart is, where my grace resides.

**

This is all I could muster after ten minutes on the prompt.  Today's was to write a scene that uses the following words: wire, pond, truncate.  That's why you'll see each of them intalicized.  I wasn't going for quantity, I was aiming for quality. I hope there's a bit of quality to ten minutes of scribbling.  It's short but sweet.  Maybe like me?

It's my Friday!  Yay!  I'm hitting the big city tonight to visit with my pal Heather and then hope to enjoy a rainy day off tomorrow being leisurely with pens, paper, books, the remote and preparing for my night away in Hubbards.  Two more sleeps!

Happy Thursday!

In propinquity,
Nic

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Happy Accident



Happy Accident

Serendipity.  It was the first word; I swear on my wee little life, the first word I saw when I opened the dictionary.  Today’s writing prompt: write a story that starts with a word you pick out of the dictionary at random.  What are the odds that my eyes would fall arbitrarily on a word defined as the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for?  It was pleasant surprise, very serendipitous in fact.  The universe somehow magically manages to connect the dots with happy accidents, like me finding such a fortunately ironic word for a writing prompt exercise, like Isaac Newton’s famed apple dropping from a tree that led him to his musings about the nature of gravitation or like my friend Nan reluctantly attending a wedding reception only to meet the love of her life.  She snuck into the tent out in the middle of a field in New Ross and quietly sat herself at the most inconspicuous table in the back.  She hated her friend’s bride with the fire of a thousand suns but couldn’t bring herself to actually miss what would most likely be the most important day of his life.  While she dressed herself in a simple summer dress and sling back shoes she reminded herself that it is more important to support your loved ones and not judge.  As long as Jack was happy, who was she to disagree.

Under the big top and twinkly lights Nan sat with her legs crossed sipping champagne with a strawberry bobbing at the bottom of the flute  listening to the wedding band play a pleasant version of ‘Stand by Me’.  A voice spoke close to her ear, in a husky masculine tone, “Friend of the bride or the groom?”

Nan stifled a gasp from the chill the mystery man sent down her bare spine.  She cleared her throat and slowly turned to meet her table companion, “The groom.  You?”

He flashed a smile that near blinded her, “Blushing bride.”

Nan’s reply flew nervously out through her lips, “Sorry to hear that.”

Playful laughter erupted from her table’s handsome and unwelcome guest, “Tell me how you really feel?”  He extended his hand and introduced himself, “Carson Morrow, pleasure.”

She took his hand and watched while he placed a soft kiss on the top of her fingers, “Nan Forbes, likewise.”

He stood, straightening out his disheveled tie and looked down to her, “Care to dance, pretty girl?”

It took her a long time to answer because in that one moment staring up at him, she fell in head over heels in love, claiming his eyes destroyed her, “I’d love to.”

And they danced; all night, all the way into the next day and the next.  Serendipity in action. 

I guess my writing prompt isn’t so much a story as it is the account of Nan’s new flourishing romance.  I am so pleased for her, such happenstance to have found Carson on a night when she was certain would be miserable.   Much the same as it was some kind of karmic fate I settled my eyes on serendipity when I sat down to write today.

**

I missed yesterday’s writing prompt because I wasn’t feeling well.  I crashed after work with a raging headache and so I didn’t get anything down.  If time permits today, there may be a double dose of Teapot but if not I won’t beat myself up too much.  Today’s was light and fortunate.  Landing that word is exactly its definition.  Too cool.

Tomorrow is my Friday which I’m happy about.  I look forward to a three day weekend and am happy that it’s finally Hubbards weekend!  I plan to have coffee and chatter with my pal Heather tomorrow after work and I may even get a card tag to Ru out seeing as I got one from her yesterday with a hilarious quote on the cover.  I also received a lovely card from Erica too that meant a lot to me, it feels good to be loved.

I’ve had my soup and soon it’ll be time for green tea and my pear.  Three more hours of this work day and I can go enjoy the sun. Yippee!

I wish you happy accidents all day long.

In propinquity,
Nic


Monday, August 19, 2013

Smells Like Teen Spirit


Today's writing prompt:  write a scene that involves the scent of a teenager.  You decide what that means. Here's what came:

Smells Like Teen Spirit

I almost forget what it’s like to be a teenager.  Gone are the days of 16 Magazine, Friday Night Videos, acne, slouch socks to shield my thick ankles, baggy shirts to disguise my quickly changing body and Jovan Musk permanently embedded in my skin to hide profuse sweating.  I was a tidy kid, respectful, didn’t talk back to my parents for fear of a back-hander and I did well in school and was proud of it, quick to rub my friend’s noses in it because when you’re a kid, everything is a competition, right? 

I am reminded of these things when I enter my 13 year old niece’s bedroom.   If I could take you back in time to my teenage bedroom, you’d see my bed centered in my room, brass headboard, girly linens, a million tear-stained pillows to throw my dramatic face in when things didn’t go my way, walls papered with posters of 80s icons, Duran Duran, Culture Club, Michael Jackson, Madonna, INXS and everything in its right place.  The deal was I wasn’t allowed to hang my posters unless my room kept clean at all times and I kept my grades up.

Entering Holly’s room is a literally an enter at your own risk situation.  When I think of younger teenage girls, I imagine soft and vibrant contrasting pink hues, fuzzy stuffed things, pretty jewelry, fashionable clothes, perfume, and diaries with little skimpy locks, palates of cheap make-up, maybe One Direction and Pretty Little Liar posters.  It’s fair to say that Holly’s room is a science experiment.  Opening the door was an immediate struggle.  A mountain of wet bath towels hindered my entrance into the hazy dim lit room, “Holls, are you in here?”

“Over here,” she says shooting her hand up from behind a stack of school books and other junk that is supposed to be her desk, the one I passed down to her from my trendy teenage boudoir, “doing my math homework before soccer practice.  Are you gonna come?” 

I am aghast at the smell that stings my eyes and offends my nose.  What the hell is that smell?

“Of course I am.  Finish up your homework, dinner is almost ready and then I’ll drive you to over to the field.”

I couldn’t risk being exposed too much longer; the odor would have ruined my appetite.    I take my seat back at the kitchen table where my sister Lara is preparing dinner, “What is that pungent odor in Holly’s room!?

She half laughs and then scowls, “Let’s see, probably a combination of dirty dishes, half eaten things, soccer cleats, wet towels, the dollar store rip off of Davidoff’s Cool Water perfume and a month’s worth of filth, sweat and farts.”

“I don’t understand.  You leave her room like that!?”

“You know, my daughter is a lovely girl.  She’s bright and focused on her school work and on the soccer field, she’s sensitive and for the most part she’s responsible but the truth is she’s a slob.  And, she’s thirteen now, I refuse to pick up after her.  If she wants to live like a miscreant so be it. ”

“It smells like something died in there.  I almost fell over.  I couldn’t believe the mess in there, the piles of stuff.  There’s no floor!”

“I am constantly on her to clean her room telling her that if her father or I go in there fishing dirty plates out from underneath her bed or find creepy crawly things under a damp bath towel, she’s in trouble.  She’s soon due for another major cleaning spree, I know, it’s disgusting.”

“I am almost positive Jabba the Hut lives in there with her.  I am just flabbergasted.  I’d expect it from a teenage boy, but Holly!?”

Lara placed a crisp colourful salad in the middle of the dinner table and poured me a glass of wine.  “Teenagers are soooo much fun.”

I took a gulp, “A barrel of monkeys apparently.”

“Smells like one too!” 

**

Oh, to be young again.

Happy Monday!

In propinquity,
Nic

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Written Sideways



Today's prompt as I mentioned didn't really have a subject, its only rule was to turn your paper sideways and write, ignoring the lines if there were any.  Funny because I do this all the time or I fold a piece of blank paper in half and write on all of the folds.  Since I could write whatever I wanted, I started a poem and came up with this:

Written Sideways

the Sunday New York Times and crossword puzzles
your Ramones t-shirt, the toll of the mission bells
and a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios with skim milk

modern love

the crazy amount of time we wasted laughing too hard
the countless hours of drawing big dreams in the sand

modern love making

a stack of old issues of Rolling Stone magazines
a plate of vegetables cheese fresh bread and red wine

modern love taking its time

after countless afternoons of conversations with myself
my mind entertains wisdom my body doesn’t understand

modern love making it’s move

gazing thoughtfully down on us who have never known

true love

written sideways

I turn to you

**


I am officially, certifiably spent.  I had a great weekend in the gorgeous weather.  I spent Friday evening with Colleen watching Jurassic Park on the Halifax waterfront and yesterday road tripped to my big brother's house for his annual gathering.  I had a really good time this year (constant headache notwithstanding) because a big chunk of my family came.  There were shenanigans, fireworks, a bonfire, guitars and singing and gut-busting laughter.  It was fantastic and I was also told I'm going to be a great auntie again!  My nephew Cory and his finance Katie are expecting.  Always lovely to hear of new life bound for this earth.  Another little one to snuggle and spoil.  I'm happy for them and my brother is ecstatic about being a grandfather.  So nice for he and my sister 'n' law.  God news is good news is good news.  Babies rule.

Two writing prompts and zero story work this weekend.  I am disgraceful.  This week, I WILL work.

Dexter then sleep.  

Goodnight, moon.

In propinquity,
Nic




Arena


I am day behind on my writing prompts because yesterday I attended an annual family function which required road tripping.  I scribbled a tiny bit but I am giving myself permission right now for a do-over. I found it hard to write on the move, distracted by the gorgeous scenery en route to New Glasgow, NS, the radio and car conversation.  I'm a little tired and headachy so this isn't my best effort, it's loose and sloppy but I wrote something down and that's all that matters.

The prompt was for the scene to take place in an arena, here's what came:

Arena

I have traveled through some of the most miserable parts of the world to be here tonight in this arena.  Our last show of a long grueling world tour, I can finally retire the vanity required to climb into the spotlight and deliver what the masses pay good hard-earned money to see; antics, blood, and in turn they leave the echo of adoration.

The crew is dismantling our set.  The rest of the band has gone back to the bus but I sometimes like to take a seat and watch them work.   They converge like a beautiful, well-oiled machine, flawless and coordinated.  Observing their concise movement akin to a covert military maneuver.  I am awash with gratitude.  It’s gripping to watch them pull apart what they had only just built for me so that I can work for a few small hours.  I am indebted to these busy bodies for erecting my office, for having my back, for making me look good, for creating the largest part of an audience’s experience, for thinking on their feet.  For example, we pulled into this one town in Europe expecting to present a full frontal rock show and the venue was an old church.  Amidst all of the confusion, they quickly scaled the set back and turned God’s former house into a stunning Heaven for a thousand fans.  No easy feat but they did it.  For us.  They remind me to stay humble.  They are that good. 

I am watching them in awe and Gaz Dale, our tour manager approaches, “Great show tonight, Boss.  I thought you might be hungry so I had someone run out and grab you an onion bagel with vegetable cream cheese,” he hands me the brown bag and looks down on the crew from the top row of the lower bowl,  “You good?”

“Oh yeah, I’m just transfixed watching the guys tear down.  I just love them.  Know what’s amazing to me, Gaz?”

“What’s that, Boss?”

“This very arena, so many of the greatest bands in the world have played here, Pearl Jam, Bruce Springsteen, Rolling Stones, Neil Young, Motorhead, even the Doors in their day.  It’s mind-blowing to know that this space has been used over and over again, filled with energy, ear-splitting noise, the raw hum of an excited crowd and people who work tirelessly to create something larger than life.  Like these guys.”

“And the beat goes on.  So uh, you ready to rock ‘n’ roll?”

Gaz is anxious to hit the after party because he answers me in song lyrics, that’s what he does.  “You go on ahead.  I’m going to sit here for a little while longer, eat my bagel and hang with the crew.”

“Boss, there are a lot of people waiting for you to celebrate.”

“They can wait.  Right now, I am celebrating them.”  I nod to the crew and bite my bagel.

**

That's all she wrote.  Now, I will work on today's prompt.  Not sure now much steam I have left but I'll give it a whirl.  Isn't really a prompt.  She says to turn your paper sideways and write, even with lines.  I can write anything I want.  Let's see how it goes.

In propinquity,
Nic


Friday, August 16, 2013

Late To The Party



Today’s prompt (which took me more like 20-25 minutes to write instead of 10 because I was writing as I worked) is to write a scene using an unreliable narrator and give her a cat.

This is what came:

Late To The Party

I promised I would go but I lied.  Well, I didn’t lie per se, I did plan to go but when the time came to embark on the journey to the undesired destination, I flaked. The best decision was to stay home in my sweats, listen to music and scroll through hundreds of delicious recipes on Pinterest that I want to try but will never make.  As you can clearly see, I am quick to make promises I can’t keep.  I admit, I have no follow through. 

I was supposed to be there by 7:30pm.  It is now 8:23pm.  My phone is set on vibrate and is lighting up like a Christmas tree;  texts, voicemails, Facebook messages, tweets, all boasting the same query, “Where ARE you!?”  I delete each notification as I skim without really reading.  Then voice mail. 

Margaret was first, “Nellie Briggs!  How dare you desert your …”

Delete.

Then there was Carol, “I keep telling myself that you’re probably just running late.  Having a wardrobe malfunction or are stuck in traffic.   You better …”

Delete.

And Janine spat out a sour tone, “I can’t believe you aren’t here.  How selfish …”

Delete.

And of course Dawn, my best friend in the whole entire world, “Congratulations Nell, you win.  Never will I ever do a single thing for you again, ever!  You exhaust me and I’m really disappointed this time more than all the other times that you promised you’d show and up and didn’t.  You are a terrible friend, Nellie.  Oh, happy birthday.  The party I threw for you was lovely.”

Replay message.

Delete.

Dawn.  We have been through every major life event together, college, botched life plans, illness, silliness, sadness, celebration, bad boyfriends, bad hair and broken hearts.  Her cat is the almost twin sister to my Marbles, a lazy blue eye-d Ragdoll kitty with a silky color-point coat.  Even she is looking at me with disappointment. 

If these people were my friends they would accept me for who I am.  They should know I have loner tendencies and that I prefer solitude to crowded places and that I like to observe instead of being the center of attention.  I am not adventurous or spontaneous, I work my guts out all day and I just like to relax and take it easy.  How is that wrong?!  I know I can be insensitive to the hardships and demands of others but I live my life for me and do what I want and if I don’t want to do something that’s my choice and no one else’s so they can suck lemons.  Plus, how many other people accept a Facebook invite and say they are going to some stupid Scentsy party or a baby shower and don’t actually go?  Millions.  I’m not the only flake.

Yeah, saying that out-loud does make me sound like an asshole, doesn’t it?

Oh well.  C’est la vie. 

**

TGIF!  I just made plans with my friend Colleen tonight and am contemplating a family gathering tomorrow that is a road trip away.  Feeling a little blue, left over from yesterday and I'm really behind in my sleep but I'm happy the weekend is upon us and next week is a four day week for me leading up to my overnight away in Hubbard to see Matt Mays with friends.  Mmm lobster dinnnner.

I wish you peaceful easy feelings and lots of laughs with those you love.

In propinquity,
Nic



Thursday, August 15, 2013

Raggedy Paperback


I signed up to receive writing prompts in my email daily.  The purpose of the exercise is to accept the prompt and spend ten solid minutes, preferably by hand, on the subject.  I received my first challenge today, an effort on my part to keep sharp and to think on my toes.  These exercises are designed to be short bursts of joy, of straight writing, without editing, without research, without hesitation.

My first one was to write about a raggedy paperback, with the narrator starting outside.  I kept her outside for the duration.  I wrote this off the cuff and I confess while feeling a slight shade of blue so it's a little bit sad.  I didn't really write too much about the paperback, it was more symbolic of the situation but this is what flashed when I started to scribble.  

Double teapot action today!  It's the write way, yes?


**

Raggedy Paperback

I am quiet.  It is peaceful sitting here with him on the park bench where we first met, not speaking,   With only a few solitary souls roaming the Public Gardens, the occasional squawk of a duck and rush hour traffic slowing down on Spring Garden Road, we rest there together but alone.  I contemplate a whole glossary of goodbyes before he tentatively clears his throat and utters the first fretted words, “I’m sorry, I just don’t love you the way you love me.”

A rebellious gaggle of teenage boys without helmets whiz by on BMX bikes, the speed disrupts the powdery path, dust slowly rises up into the sliver of sunlight left around our shaded perch.  I am quick to shut my eyes during his admission to prevent tears from coming and ask him, “Do you think it’s true?” 

“Is what true?”

“That someone in Heaven listens to you when you pray, like that story in the raggedy paperback you gave me the night we met on this bench.”

He replied, unable to face the unpleasantness of the moment, “How should I know, I don’t even believe in God.” 

“I don’t mean to intentionally override the measure of this break-up with irrelevant questions it’s just that I don’t understand, you were so tender and urgent when you pressed the book into my hand.  You turned me into a courageous person; you smoothed my hair away from my face and told me I was beautiful.  Do you remember?”

He shook his head, “I don’t remember anything.”

“You lie.”

“I’m out of here,” he yanks himself up off of the bench, hikes his collar up around his face and stuffs his hands in his coat pockets, “I’m sorry, I tried.  It’s been fun.”

I watch him walk away from me, the howl of sirens race along South Park Street, an ambulance, en route to the nearby hospital district, I pray they are coming for me because my heart has stopped beating.  Yesterday we were laughing like fools, today divided like a war torn region.  My bag at my feet spills out on the grass when reach to pick it up.  There it is, the raggedy paperback, its well-thumbed pages, notated margins and underlined passages.  My sadness drops me into a memory, us leaning amorously into each other across the table at Paper Chase Café, I’m mooning over the book’s cover that he has held up and away from his face while he reads aloud to me the sweet story steeped in love.


I once was loved.  Now I am lost.  A weathered paperback novel, a history book of sorts, and the scars, the only mementoes that remain.  Either, happy endings.

**

I look forward to my next prompt.  If you feel inspired, take a crack at the raggedy paperback too.

In propinquity,
Nic

Oh, Indubitably



Oh, Indubitably

ingenious conceits
frame this narrative
peppered with politeness
stippled with courtesy

unquestionable
too evident to be queried
zero prospects for miscalculation

an indubitable truth
shorn of superficial qualities

external facts
innocent resolve

the truth is unquestionable
the truth is an absolute

the philosophy perhaps

of an indifferent writer

**

Just wee poem while the sun shines on this Thursday afternoon.  I sat outside for a break just now, ear buds in, brain off, heart on, daydreaming.  I got so lost in pleasant thoughts I almost forgot to come back and man my 9 to 5 work-post.

I've completed the day's crossword and swallowed plenty of green tea, now I will attempt my new day writing prompt I started getting in my email.  It's sitting there waiting for me to open it so I can start writing. Wish me luck.  Stories are still on-going, still slow as molasses but they are coming.  In less than two hours, I'll have a 10 minute writing prompt complete and will be homeward bound with my book (currently reading 'Silver Linings Playbook' - I read half of it yesterday) and to my comfy clothes.

So, I write on!  Hope your face is in the shape of a smile today.

In propinquity,
Nic



Monday, August 12, 2013

Woman Troubadour



Woman Troubadour

she has been accredited
with many miracles

woman troubadour/articulate activist

a champion of narrative poems
on the subject of love & adventure

devoted herself to nursing broken hearts
never afraid to contract beauty from loved ones

woman troubadour/delicate hand-writer

watches the sun wind down
while the rest of us nest tentatively

the chorus of shared friendships
give way to a wide open margin

mutual sentences of loneliness & poverty
navigating the blueprints on pure instinct

woman troubadour/crowned felicity

never deceived
never betrayed

kindness & courtesy make every impression
on her remarkably advanced reasons to grieve

to know nothing of heart’s cold draught
is to single out the meaning of indifferent wind

woman troubadour/frequent flier

conquering faces by diminishing belongings
the beautiful multitude of singing in silence

your city expired in a war fought for justice
a woman with the fragrance of redemption in her hands

her message & the sky lowered
her expression & the ground swelled

milks tenderness dry
wrinkles the embers

do not cling to her button-down neckline
do not caress the complications of moonlight

woman troubadour
melodious matron

lives vicarious
through your tears

breathes miraculous
into your fears

with every intention to escape with a song
she grows too fierce employing impractical instruments

**

I kicked back into gear with ‘Large-Hearted’ yesterday and again today while it is slow at work.  Writing two stories in one has proven to be a challenge and I’m not exactly pleased with one of them.  I love the bulk of the whole story but the secondary tale has me at odds with word play.  I can’t seem to get it to flow the way I want it to.  I know what it is I want but it’s coming out like a big pile of dung. Gah!  I will continue to press on.  One word, one sentence at a time, right?

I finished this poem this morning after seeing a tweet by Carmen Townsend last night.  She shared a you-tube video of Patsy Cline’s ‘Walking After Midnight’ and it made me recall this one week where I was afforded a string of days where I was home alone.  I carted the stereo down into the kitchen along with a stack of CDs, my writing gear and a cookbook.  For one blissfully solitary stretch, I wrote and baked perfect apple pies from scratch and sang along with my musical friends at the top of my lungs, something I don’t do often because I’m not known to carry much of a tune.  But, it was peaceful.  I spent time with Joni Mitchell, Diana Krall, Tracy Chapman, Norah Jones, Ricki Lee Jones, Courtney Love, Stevie Nicks and Patsy Cline.  I think of that time fondly as I could easily spend my days that way, squirreled away with the company of music, Muses and confectionary delights.  I don’t mind being alone until the well needs to be re-filled.  In the spirit of my soulful sisters, songstress angels, poetess influences I wrote ‘Woman Troubadour’.  It reflects the spirit, strength, courage and wealth of all creative women and the gifts they give and their brave hearts.  

I tweeted in reply to Carmen that I often hum ‘Walking After Midnight’ and she then said it was attached to fond memories of her Mama.  I love how music does that, for women, for the world.  It’s powerful.  Wonderful.

Back to working on my story until it’s time for my afternoon commute where I’ll get lost in my book while singing a pretty tune under my breath.

In propinquity,

Nic

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Anti-Poetry


Anti-Poetry

irony is lonely

fanciful writing
it bothers the heart

a superstitious business
a poet’s abundance

dissertations of inferiority
flags of blunt vigilance

interrupt the fluid music

where secrets are silent
charisma is deceptive
intention is bewildering

abandoned satire
lonesome writing

irony is lonely
lonely is mine

**

What a lovely weekend.  The sun shone and continues to shine today accompanied by a cool breeze through my window as I type.  Friday evening, I witnessed love.  I attended the wedding reception of a friend and felt the full abundance of true love.  It was wonderful.  I had a lovely time talking to other people on the precipice of marriage and who are walking in joy.  Their company, under the twinkly lights, reminded me that true love does indeed rule and it is attainable.  I appreciate good humans with kind hearts who can instill that value, the value of tenderness and combined spirit.  May have fueled a few scribbles but we'll soon see.

Saturday morning's sun came out for the Eastern Passage/Cow Bay Summer Carnival parade.  My town has an annual carnival for as long as I can remember.  My only participation this year was taking in the parade with my pals.  The best part, A&W rootbeer suckers.  Nom!  Erica and I took her daughter over to Halifax afterward and had a bite to eat on the Carleton patio and browsed around for a little bit.  I was pleased we did because I discovered a french cafe I can't wait to try and stumbled by the entrance to Inkwell, a modern handmade boutique and letterpress studio.  The stationary junkie in me was quite pleased.  I browsed the gorgeous handmade cards, prints, paper and accessories in the summer heat.  I was a little mesmerized.  I bought two pieces, a wedding card for friends tying the knot at the end of the month and something sweet and simple for my next card tag with Ru.  Can't wait to be 'it'!

Today, I managed a poem.  Something small and seemingly uninspired.  I also am considering of pulling out my 'Large-Hearted' pages and going somewhere to edit for a bit, depending on my dinner plans.  I'm buying time blogging until I find out how my day will pan out.

I may have had too good of a time yesterday because once the evening came, I wasn't feeling well.  I curled up with comfy blankets and pillows and finished off S2 of the now canceled NBC show 'Smash'.  I loved the first season, the creation, workshop and mounting of a musical based on the life of Marilyn Monroe and waited patiently for the second season to be released on DVD.  It came out on the 6th of this month.  It arrived in my mailbox two days later and I'm already finished.  While the first season was all about character development, the musical and the music, the second season packed an emotional punch.  I didn't weep once first season but in the last half of the second I was a sobbing fool! I am sad it was axed by the network because it was original, full of characters you just fall in love with and root for.  Despite it being canceled, they ended it on a perfect note.  I'm going to really miss it and spending time on Broadway.

Happy Sunday to you and yours.  Go easy and count your blessings, another work week is upon us.

In propinquity,
Nic

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Drag The Past Out Into The Light


Drag The Past Out Into The Light

what emerges from the past is revelatory

our first frenzied happenstance
stirred a lively correspondence
drove an ardent but naive tangle

I was a little shy and a touch earnest
you were far-flung and acutely offhand

oblivious
I dug in deep
you feigned sincere
for a selfish agenda

we rose
we lingered
fleetingly

our last impassioned encounter
sped toward imminent disaster

you only wanted the pieces of me

the unsung pieces
those not narrative
the informal pieces

anxiety quickly replaced affection
sorrow devoured the goodness

what surfaced from your vague intentions
facades revealed by premeditated deceit
occasioned my sad irrepressible future

pitted against the one that you love
a dire conversation is long awaited

yet never transpires

even in all of its predicted nonsense
it most certainly turns into something

a punishment for love is an empty apology

do not drag the past out into the light
he said with clear conceited calculation
you are not the one for me

do not condescend me with your concern
I replied with my frozen nightmare heart
you are not good enough for me

**

Writing prompt this time around was, ‘use a song lyric to inspire a poem’.  I have had U2’s One stuck in my head for days and the line I used to title my poem and used as the spring board jumped out at me.  I didn’t intentionally set out to be morose or melancholy; it’s just where the Muse moved me.  You can’t challenge His direction, right?

It’s the only thing I managed to write all weekend and it came in dribs and drabs.  I couldn’t find the steam over the last three days to do any serious writing but it was important that I at least scribble.  My marbles were still pretty much kaput and I actively used the time to fill the well by attending a soulful Sunday afternoon grooving to a Mellotones in the Public Gardens.  The band played in the bandstand under a beautiful blue sky and billowing clouds.  I marveled at the delighted audience, seniors, hippies and children dancing in the grass.  It was a feel-good afternoon that served my spirit well. 

Yesterday I did as I said I would and braved my first ever bridge walk.  I walked the length of the MacDonald Bridge, spanning the Halifax harbour, connecting Dartmouth to Halifax.  The span was closed to traffic leaving it free for pedestrians to stroll.  While black clouds loomed, thunder rolled and chain lightening shot through the sky, I walked.  Mid-way across, the wind picked up matching my pounding heart, well aware I was up high over deep water.  Pleased with myself for actually walking all the way across I challenged myself to return via the bike path on the outside of the bridge, putting me closer to the edge, more aware of the water below.  I came upon a message spray-painted on the sidewalk half way back that said, ‘conquer your fear’.  Even though my heart was pounding in my ears I smiled because that’s exactly what I was working toward doing.  Baby steps, one thing at a time.  I felt exhilarated when I finished.  I am proud of myself for doing it.  To many, walking across the bridge is no big deal.  It was for me and I can humbly announce I dominated the task!  So cool.

One of these days I will get re-focused on my prose pieces.  God willing.  But, is there any hurry?  You can’t rush creativity.  As they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Be nice to others.  Think before you speak.  Wear kindness.

In propinquity,

Nic

Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Smell of Books in Love


The Smell of Books in Love

if you extract
heat and chaos
from love

all that remains
will be the smell
of old lonely books

do not be fool-hearted
press on read ahead
sixteen pages further

to be exact

before you resolve
to abolish the appetite
for romantic urges

if you excerpt
poetry and whimsy
from friendship

all that will be left
will be the tang of acid
in the white zinfandel

do not be careless
do not be frivolous

if you omit ire
from your heart

pages will flourish
stories will survive

**

No nuggets of wisdom to share today, nothing pressing except to say that it's a brand new month.  How the blazes did it get to be August already!?  Where is the time going?  Geez Louise.

Happy August 1st!

Come as you are.

In propinquity,
Nic