Drag The Past Out Into The Light

Drag The Past Out Into The Light

what emerges from the past is revelatory

our first frenzied happenstance

stirred a lively correspondence

drove an ardent but naive tangle

I was a little shy and a touch earnest

you were far-flung and acutely offhand

oblivious

I dug in deep

you feigned sincere

for a selfish agenda

we rose

we lingered

fleetingly

our last impassioned encounter

sped toward imminent disaster

you only wanted the pieces of me

the unsung pieces

those not narrative

the informal pieces

anxiety quickly replaced affection

sorrow devoured the goodness

what surfaced from your vague intentions

facades revealed by premeditated deceit

occasioned my sad irrepressible future

pitted against the one that you love

a dire conversation is long awaited

yet never transpires

even in all of its predicted nonsense

it most certainly turns into something

a punishment for love is an empty apology

do not drag the past out into the light

he said with clear conceited calculation

you are not the one for me

do not condescend me with your concern

I replied with my frozen nightmare heart

you are not good enough for me

**

Writing prompt this time around was, ‘use a song lyric to inspire a poem’.  I have had U2’s One stuck in my head for days and the line I used to title my poem and used as the spring board jumped out at me.  I didn’t intentionally set out to be morose or melancholy; it’s just where the Muse moved me.  You can’t challenge His direction, right?

It’s the only thing I managed to write all weekend and it came in dribs and drabs.  I couldn’t find the steam over the last three days to do any serious writing but it was important that I at least scribble.  My marbles were still pretty much kaput and I actively used the time to fill the well by attending a soulful Sunday afternoon grooving to a Mellotones in the Public Gardens.  The band played in the bandstand under a beautiful blue sky and billowing clouds.  I marveled at the delighted audience, seniors, hippies and children dancing in the grass.  It was a feel-good afternoon that served my spirit well. 

Yesterday I did as I said I would and braved my first ever bridge walk.  I walked the length of the MacDonald Bridge, spanning the Halifax harbour, connecting Dartmouth to Halifax.  The span was closed to traffic leaving it free for pedestrians to stroll.  While black clouds loomed, thunder rolled and chain lightening shot through the sky, I walked.  Mid-way across, the wind picked up matching my pounding heart, well aware I was up high over deep water.  Pleased with myself for actually walking all the way across I challenged myself to return via the bike path on the outside of the bridge, putting me closer to the edge, more aware of the water below.  I came upon a message spray-painted on the sidewalk half way back that said, ‘conquer your fear’.  Even though my heart was pounding in my ears I smiled because that’s exactly what I was working toward doing.  Baby steps, one thing at a time.  I felt exhilarated when I finished.  I am proud of myself for doing it.  To many, walking across the bridge is no big deal.  It was for me and I can humbly announce I dominated the task!  So cool.

One of these days I will get re-focused on my prose pieces.  God willing.  But, is there any hurry?  You can’t rush creativity.  As they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Be nice to others.  Think before you speak.  Wear kindness.

In propinquity,

Nic