Saturday, June 22, 2013

Fretful Woman


Fretful Woman

a fretful woman
a wild azalea

veering toward blessedness
smeared in a thick film of devotion
draped in soft sheaths of loyalty

she can see the moon blindfolded
above the luxurious spring woods
but you are impossible to convince

& you remove her from time

your irrepressible need 
to have the upper hand

has become everything for nothing

she

a fretful woman
a wild azalea

has become the thunder of the storms
has become a torch song of burning love

you with your cigar
her with her wine

an exemplary fantasy

a fretful woman
a wild azalea 

has overcome every poem she's written
because of your reactionary philosophy
because of the changes in the weather

a fretful woman
survives

despite you

**

Forbearance.  I’m fortunate to be a patient creative.  My current foray is taking it’s good old time materializing.  I’m still listening for the whispers, the answers, with my eye on the world for outside inspiration.  Zelda Grady, the narrator of ‘Large-Hearted’ is still looking for clues, for answers and I trust that when she has more to share, she’ll share.  It’s also a dire challenge to write a story within a story.  I’m literally writing two stories at once.  I fear I’ll be editing for a very long time and I may even outsource the task to a willing participant to make sure that I’m not missing any of my mistakes this time around.  I’ll pay in a bottle of wine or a reasonable substitute (chocolate, coffee etc) if you’re willing.

I finished this girl power/self affirming poem this morning when I was supposed to be cleaning my room.  There’s always tomorrow.  Writing comes first, right?  I broke open my treat I bought at the Freak Lunchbox yesterday, a Cadbury Curly Wurly, streamed Matt Epp’s new record (which I will OWN tomorrow when I go to his show!) and finished playing with the structure and the lines, adding and subtracting and tidying it up.  I sat back and re-read and found myself nodding, that’s how I know it’s time to share.  Poetry sometimes cuts into my prose writing but I don’t altogether mind because I am writing and there’s no rush, I’m not under any deadlines and I’d prefer a story to come slowly so I don’t feel rushed.  I am certain that Zelda has my back so I’m quite content.  I do look forward to you all being able to meet her.

Lovely Saturday.  It was hot and sunny when I woke up this morning.  It’s a little overcast right now but I am hoping that it’ll brighten up again and get out of the house and be out in the world.  I’m enjoying my four day weekend.  Passport business was completed yesterday as well as a few other things I can’t get to when I’m working weekdays until 4:30pm.  I had a good lunch at The Lower Deck, pecked at my story, did a crossword in pen and nursed a red beer then got my hair cut.  I bought myself a leave in conditioner from the ‘Milkshake’ line that smells like chocolate.  It’s delicious and is lightweight which works better for my hair.  I can’t wait to shower just so I can spray it in.  Nom.

ONE MORE SLEEP UNTIL MATT EPP!!!

Happy Saturday to you.  Sing at will.  Hug people.  Read a poem.  And have fun.

In propinquity,
Nic

2 comments:

  1. I love those SHOES!! Bean, where do you find these photos; they're consistently fabulous!

    Okay, so this one reminds me of my religious days, when I had a nefarious plan to ship the husband to work and the kids to school, then pull the typewriter out from under the bed and spend the day writing erotic fiction. Apparently I planned on being a fretful woman myself, and given the potential constraints of family, religion, and society I'd have faced in that role, I was lucky that it never happened.

    A beautiful ode to the unstoppable force of the female will to survive in any capacity, but particularly in the creative. Our souls are at stake, aren't they?

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