My weekend was full. I had a vacation day on Friday so it was a three day weekend for me. I woke up on Friday to gorgeous weather, threw on a hoodie and jeans and went out into the sunny world. I did some errands and parked myself at Emma's Eatery for brunch, a pot of tea and some quiet so I could sit and write a long glowing letter in favor of her dynamite short story she sent to me in the mail. That was peaceful and such a lovely way to spend my first day off.
I received sad news the evening before that a sweet friend passed after a long battle with a terrible condition and being an American, an inhumane war with health insurance. No one in this world will ever convince me that the Canadian way is wrong. I believe all human beings have the right to quality health-care, not just those who can afford it. It's criminal and wrong. It isn't socialist. It is right and just and it pains me to know that if her health care situation had been better, she may have survived her affliction. It makes me angry, so if you ever plan to argue that the American healthcare system is superior to ours, you will lose.
Friday evening was a blessing. I had reservations for Yuk Yuks Comedy Club with Erica, we purchased tickets weeks ago in support of a friend's kid's hockey team. I was grateful for the laughter and time spent, it eased the ache and some of the sad. Laughter is good medicine.
Saturday was a family day. My nephew is moving west for his job, climbing power lines so a good portion of my big immediate family gathered at my brother's house for beer, chowder and socializing. It was lovely even more-so, feeling sad, to spend time surrounded by my people.
It was hard to stay up late last night but in honour of our friend, a group of us all across the globe, even as far down to New Zealand, all tuned in online for the Retro-Redeye Express radio show. My amazing friend Sunshine does this show on KKFI in Kansas, public radio at its finest. Weekly she spins a great cross section of new wave, alternative etc music that I love. She's great at it and last night she had Harold in studio with her, another friend from LA who joined her for a guest DJ spot. It's like we were all holding hands, holding hearts and laughing together, in honour of Becki and in kinship. They are all such tremendous humans, I'm so lucky to know them and have them in my corner. It was a welcome circle. Always is. I was dead tired when I crawled into my bed but it was well worth it to spend time among family and know we are all thinking, feeling and depending on the collective spirit to wade through the heartbreak. Sunshine and Harold were excellent together, was great to hear their voices and the songs they played, one hour of covers and rest of the show, a stellar selection. Any show featuring Annie Lennox in the soundtrack is good for me.
It's windy and rainy here today. I made pancakes and tea for myself and planted myself in this chair for a quick blog. I have little desire to return to my 6am alarm tomorrow but such is life. Today is made for laundry and lazing. I plan on doing little else. Bit of daydreaming perhaps, a little TV and a great deal of folding things.
I leave you this Sunday with a poem I finished tinkering with this morning:
You Would Stay
you
would stay one of the wandering forever
my friend who still believes in Heaven
it is a mystery how much of your heart
still hunts for someone to listen to you
still aims for someone to be amazed you
were fed by a dream too big to breathe in
you
would stay one of the lonely people always
my friend who often hides from kindness
it remains your biggest secret buried deep
in the frozen tundra of your human hinterland
unaware that one instant of joy contains
the invisible sum of pure love plus all time
you
would stay one of the vagrant pulled threads
my friend who still hangs rose patterned curtains
it is known your story is so much longer than most
a thousand pages of preemptive commentary with
anonymous changes endorsed by a wily saboteur
shutting out your voice dimming your lightness
you
would stay hidden in a mournful shroud of sadness
my friend who still secretly longs for human heartsong
to protect those peopling the center of your universe
to accommodate them with possibilities already present
a common height aligning shadows in expensive grammar
a fortuitous elegance bestowed on every star that falls
you
who would stay one of the wandering for all time
sacrifices too many flowers for the duplicitous weeds
you are prefaced by greatness
rise
**
Just a quick reminder to you, love your people with all your might. Life is so precious, unpredictable and fleeting. Don't waste it being angry, holding grudges or being whiny and negative. Search always for the best of what you have and who you have. Celebrate that goodness, their cheerfulness. Our time here is too short to resist happiness, to be too cool to care about anything, to be aloof and crass. Start everyday with love, with kindness. It'll return to you tenfold. I promise.
In propinquity,
Nic
Rest in Heavenly peace, Becki. <3
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