Let Yourself Be: Forging On

I survived a long arduous week of work.  Even though it was only a four day week since today is Good Friday, it felt more like six or maybe even eternity for it to come to a close.  I was grateful because there were rewards at the end of the stressful run of 9 to 5, there was a delicious glass of red waiting for me and my friends from the Open Heart Forgery gang.

April is national poetry month so for the launch of OHF’s April issue, we gathered at City Hall for a reading and celebration of words.  I zero time throughout the day to practice reading aloud which I often like to do so when I stand up to speak I don’t stammer or sound like an idiot.  Public speaking has never come easily for me when I am before a crowd of people about orate my art, the stuff that comes from deeply personal corners of my person.  However, the more I stand and read, the easier it gets and the more confident I become.  Listening to others and soaking up their words, the ones they take great care to string together, that helps too.  It’s a sense of unity that you can only experience by participating.  It has been an important creative building block for me and I wouldn’t have that without ever becoming part of the OHF family. 

I submitted a poem for the April issue and was pleased that it was included.  Donal Power, the brains and heart behind Open Heart Forgery has had to move on to the big city of Toronto for employment with his family to soon follow.  I missed the last Left Bank reading he attended so I wanted to say something publicly to acknowledge the impact his vision and founding of OHF has had on me.  Had it not been for seeing the little blurb in The Coast about submitting, I wouldn’t have this blog, be able to read in public nor would I have been so prolific in the volume of writing I’ve done and finished.  I owe him a debt of gratitude that I’m not entirely sure he’ll ever understand and I am certain many others feel the same way.  To thank him properly, and Rowena, because she was instrumental in helping me overcome my fears to stand in front of others to read, I wrote this poem and it was published in the April issue.

Let Yourself Be

(for Donal and Rowena)

let yourself be surprised by

whispering angels pining

under a gigantic full moon

while the Heavens shimmer

in poems and novels

in stories and essays

let yourself be amazed by

the choir of honeyed voices

peacefully lamenting affection

while every star in the sky shines

for paintings and drawings

for sculptures and architecture

let yourself be elevated by

the kindness of poet hearts

be heard by magical ears and

stand in the rays of contentment

let yourself be honoured

let yourself go and be free

just let yourself be

**

This is precisely how I feel, about Open Heart Forgery, about the those who congregate, and about the influence Donal and Rowena have had on my creative life and my person as a whole.  They are kind-hearted and passionate, they are creative and caring, and they are co-conspirators.  They have made a difference for so many voices who longed to be heard, who are talented and just as passionate about writing and poetry and words.  Together, in me, they fostered a confidence that I hadn’t otherwise figured out how to tap into.  So, if two people are deserving of a public display of poetry, it is them.

The City Hall gathering was wonderful.  In a stately room, with our Mayor, we came together for poetry and for our passion.  David Pretty, one of the several good humans I have had the fine pleasure of meeting, started the evening off with an incredibly moving diatribe about OHF and Donal and what it all means for he and the rest of us alike.  The piece of writing he shared aloud, knocked my little prepared speech out of my head because he said all the things I couldn’t have so eloquently.  When my name was called to read, I intended to be poised and own the room but instead, when I got up there and looked out to see David and then Rowena looking back at me, I choked up and succumbed to emotion.  All of the beautiful things David talked about hit home and it struck me, just how heavily Heaven was.  That I had come so far in my creative pursuits, advanced as an artist and was so lucky to look out and see that I wasn’t alone.  Choking through tears of pride and perhaps a few for sadness knowing that last night would likely be the last time to see Rowena before she is to go to Toronto to live with Donal, I prefaced the reading of the poem from the April issue by saying that in short, because of them, I learned how to trust my artist and come and stand among them, instead of straying off to the sidelines as a lonely and scared observer.  That, more than anything, is what they gave me when I walked into Open Heart Forgery.  A little kindness and faith can go a long way.  That, to me, is a powerful thing.

Open Heart Forgery at City Hall, a special night.

The best thing that ever happened to me was having my heart broken by a stupid boy.  I suppose I owe him a bit of thanks too because so much of that poetry is what propelled me to submit the first time.  And so much of that poetry has been read aloud and exorcised and was the catalyst for a great many conversations about the writing process and what drives us emotionally as writers.  His brief appearance in my story was for one reason only, for me to grow, so that I could become a better writer, a better person, a confident woman and a happier one.  My first love is and always will be writing.  Open Heart Forgery taught me that.  And, when the real fortunate son comes along and is willing to drop anchor and stay to compliment my full and crazy life and I his, I will have more words to write, to read and I’ll do so with self-reliance, gratitude and passion.

I am proud to be part of Open Heart Forgery and am pleased to know that there are like-minded people, goodhearted people who want to carry on Donal’s work.  I will do my part, what I can to see that it happens.  We will write on, we will succeed.

Happy long Easter weekend.

In propinquity,

Nic