Friday, May 10, 2013

Saturnalia


Saturnalia

do not enter our
licentious celebration

with the unconcealed
expectation of grace

it is with excessive certainty
that the coarse ambitions of

opulent plates spinning above
shoots of buttercream daffodils

will dazzle your keen senses
tangle an abrupt and searing

string of salacious scripture
with dense literalized conceit

all for the purpose of theater
an illusion of scintillating opacities

a meretricious reserve of beauty
with no apparent absence of taste

do not enter our
profligate congregation

for any other motivation but to
indulge in a sparkling adaptation

of grand superficial pretensions
designed to appraise fancy footing

heaving outbursts of dramatic fire
& the tumult of glamour and affluence

please note
for all this jazz
tender hearts
need not attend

 **

I only have two words for you today other than the above poem, happy Friday!

In propinquity,
Nic






Thursday, May 9, 2013

Profundities & Oddities, Discovering Vivian Maier

Vivian Maier, undated.  Self portrait.


Chicago historian and collector John Maloof discovered an art world wonder.  After acquiring a collection of street photographs in 2007, he was oblivious to the fact that it would turn out to be one of the most enigmatic and significant art discoveries of our time.  Maloof bought the contents of an abandoned storage unit for a meager price tag of $400 and inside were photographic riches beyond his wildest imagination.  He accidently unearthed over 100,000 negatives and roughly 700 undeveloped rolls of film snapped by one of the United States most talented and unknown photographers, Vivian Maier.

Vivian Maier is a miraculous modern day mystery, a woman who spent the better part of 40 years capturing the landscape and faces around her, in their purest form, on film.  Maier was a deeply private woman, by where many of the people who knew her had absolutely no idea that she would spend countless hours roaming around documenting a beatific logic, in persons and places.  All in secret.  Her work is raw and literal, unambiguous and engaging.  My fabulous artist friend, Kelly Thompson, who is a marvel in her own right, introduced me to the work of Vivian Maier and I’m so glad she did.  I have been pouring over her images and her story all morning and cannot seem to get enough.  Her uncanny ability to make the ordinary extraordinary is breath-taking.

From the puzzle pieces currently assembled, Vivian Maier was guarded and private, an unmaterialistic sort and sternly independent but not all too shy to share her liberal worldview to anyone who listened.  While much of her life story is slowly being unraveled, we know she worked as a nanny for most of her life while surreptitiously amassing a large body of photographic work, mostly with a Rollieflex camera.

I find her work just as polarizing as her person.  She is fascinating and I wonder, for being such a private artist, what she would think of all the posthumous success and accolades that accompany her work and name.  Her body of work is a prime example of the human spirit’s ability to triumph through art.  It is a rare thing for an artist to be so prolific and talented and lack arrogance and the need for attention.  I suppose her pretentions are evident through her solitary enjoyment of taking photographs but I have to wonder if she even knew how brilliant she was.  I love that she did it for the sheer love of the act, not for the rewards.  Her eccentricities are a dime a dozen it seems but her capacity for seeing the world through a camera was overwhelmingly sublime.

I look forward to discovering more of this woman’s story, researching, reading and admiring her stunning photographs.

The whole reason I became enamored with Vivian Maier was because Kelly shared a movie trailer about her on Facebook.  Maloof and ‘Bowling for Columbine’ filmmaker Charlie Siskel made a film that chronicles her life and impact she’s had on the art world posthumously.  After viewing the trailer I curled up trying to fall asleep excited to wake up so I could learn everything about her.  Her work has earned comparisons to critically acclaimed artists like Henri Cartier-Bresson and Diane Arbus and rightly so.

I am moved by her quietude.  I am besotted by her keen eye.  I am intrigued by her life story and grateful that John Maloof purchased the contents of an abandoned storage unit that housed an artistic miracle, one I am reveling in and will share with everyone I know. 

Maier lost ownership of her storage locker for non-payment causing her to be seperated from her life's work.  The children she cared for ultimately became her caregivers in the autumn of her life.  She died at 83 in 2009.  A formidable woman, a talented artist, with no formal training and no network of peers.  Amazing.

In propinquity,
Nic

I was JAZZED to see the bank's name.  So cool!

Friday, May 3, 2013

Keep Calm and Write Something



My current work in progress, ‘Mute’, has been a slow meandering process.  I have been side-tracked by real life and so a lot of the time lately I have had lots of thoughts, notes and mini meltdowns but just not enough energy and/or time to get everything down on paper.  What’s more, this story is not unfolding like any of the others I have written in past months.  I am writing sections all out of order and while I find that to be a daunting task, it’s been a fascinating challenge.  This story is also requiring me, courtesy of my characters, to write outside of the box.  I have written a few different things that are important to the scope of the story (at least that’s what my characters are telling me).  It’s coming in small parcels and not in a linear fashion which requires me to ponder and ask them a great deal of questions.  There are always surprises.  I love that about writing, the unknown.  It certainly keeps me on my toes.  I do look forward to when this one comes together and I am able to share it with you.  For now though, they remain all mine.  I can say with all honesty that I don’t mind that so much either.  Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that I belong to them?

It’s Friday.  After a long work week, I hope to regain my lost artist date from last weekend and get out somewhere tomorrow in the sunshine, settle somewhere with my pen and my fictional friends and see what else comes up.  My artist dates are my saving grace, they truly are.  I also have some letters to return so my pen moving in that regard will also fuel up the creative tank, it always does.

I could have shared a poem today but it’s not the polished diamond I want it to be yet so I will save it for another day.  I may even tuck it in my writing book for tomorrow and polish it while out in the wild (so to speak).  No written words today save the bloggy ramblings but it’s a new month and I’m plugging away carefully at my current project, careful to not let the weighty elements of real life stifle my flow.  The characters are still with me so that must be something, yes?

In other news, I reserved tickets for Matt Epp’s return to Halifax at The Carleton on June 23rd.  I will be accompanied by two of my dearest friends and my sister for this show.  I look forward to this show because it’s his CD release and he’s coming with a great artist called French Press to open for him.  I hold Matt’s work in the highest esteem and regard him as one of the most tender and enlightened artists in Canada.  His shows, for me, equal certain inspiration, absolute spirituality.  His work is uplifting and I’ve really enjoyed watching him soar from his early beginnings in Winnipeg to being so well respected and received, working with other world class talents and sharing his gifts, his love for music and his eternal goodness with us.  In addition to Epp’s show, I have Old Crow Medicine Show on May 31st to look forward to, The Standfields at Casino NS the very next night and Matt Mays will be rocking the Halifax waterfront on June 8th with the Red Bull Tour Bus.  There’s nothing like a good dose of live music to whip my creative senses into a wild frenzy.  What makes it all that much more amazing is I’ll be dancing the nights away with some of my best people.  That makes my heart happy.

It’s Friday.  The sun is shining.  The evening ahead will be spent with some of my other best people and then hopefully a restful sleep for my artist date adventure tomorrow.  Maybe I’ll even see best people tomorrow if I’m lucky.

Keep calm and weekend on!

You can tell everybody this is your song …

In propinquity,
Nic

Oh, and a BIG birthday shout out today too to Jeff 'Wise One' MacNeil, UBER talented musician and all around jovial guy.  Sure do miss seeing him play.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Suggestible Minds



Suggestible Minds

allow me to welcome you
to stark minimalist staging
for composed ambiguity
& deceitful aural textures

whatever you do
do not look down

do not brave heavily armed
acquisitions with indifference

at least not of
your own volition

obey to expectations
willfully accept truths

allow me to address you
amply kept audience
on the acquired habits
of conscious conformity

suggestible minds
do not think for yourself

premise of absolutes
attempts to isolate

empirical measurements
are impossible to forecast

when you cannot deliberate
with your own private apathies

suggestible minds
orchestrated purposefully

suggestible minds
manipulated willfully

resonant frequency likely

**

As it always happens, the weekend flew by.  After a particularly rough Friday I arrived home to a pot of stew and Hannah overnight and a visit with Erica.  All, delights that eased my stressful noodle.  I slept like a log too because I knew I didn't have to wake up to an alarm.  Instead, I woke up organically, to the sun streaming in my window and ventured out for the day with Erica, enjoying a lunch and some retail therapy but I was mostly just happy to be in her company.  That was followed by a girls night of sorts at my eldest sister's abode.  Against my better judgement, I drank wine and I knew I shouldn't have because I was battling a headache I've had since early Thursday morning.  Because I indulged, I ruined my Sunday.  I mapped out a perfect artist date for myself.  Halifax in the sunshine with writing and browsing and peacefulness.  Instead I woke up with a migraine and wasted a whole gorgeous sunny day resting so my raging headache would subside.  Disappointed in myself for not heeding my noodle's needs prior to the wine consumption.  Lesson learned.

I'm feeling much better now but still have a dull ache hovering around the eyebrow area.  Just enough to be annoying.  I bought a new tea yesterday, Sleepytime Vanilla.  I just made myself a cup after finishing my laundry and preparing my lunch for tomorrow.  I found enough energy to tweak this poem  I started scribbling mid-week so I could at least feel like I was somewhat productive.  The tea is yummy and perfect for bedtime.  It's my new favorite thing.

Other delights of the weekend:  coming home from work on Friday to a swanky postcard from Haley and my amazon order that included the new David Sedaris book and the book about the song 'Hallelujah' I've been eyeing since Christmas.  I'm armed now with tons of reading material to get me through the next little bit.  I've read a few pages of each book already and I can't wait to get through both of them.  I plan to savor each though because David's stuff is SO good that when I'm done I'm always sad.  His stuff is incredibly smart and funny, so much so that sometimes I make a fool of myself if I'm reading it on my commute home.  I often take to laughing out-loud on the Metro.  Books, good books, rule.

As I prepare to retire for the evening I realize that while I am already missing Hannah being here, her silliness, our 5 minute dance parties and snuggles, I have so much to look forward to in the next while.  A lot of it is music, shows by Old Crow Medicine Show, The Stanfields at the Casino, Matt Mays on the waterfront which also coincides with Kiersten's visit and then Matt Epp at The Carleton come the end of June.  There's even an engagement party in there too.  I also have to get photos done for my passport application for next year's trip.  That time won't come soon enough.  I need out of dodge.

My goal for this week is to complete my current short story, eat better (because I've been bad again), exercise at least 30 minutes each day and try to get enough sleep.  Attainable goals, yes?  I think so.

My headache and I bid you a good night and successful, sunny week ahead.

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream ...

In propinquity,
Nic

PS - Poem's moral?  Think for yourself and be mindful that when you use your words, choose them wisely.  Sometimes they hurt even when you don't mean for them to.






Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Company We Keep



The Company We Keep

above all other things love rules

the affirming rewards of friendship
might be muddled or indeterminate
by imposed anxieties weighing on us

yet

no matter how fragile we become
no matter how cauterized by grief

we are a gorgeous study of propinquity
knitted tightly together with visceral detail
to conquer all with collective courage

above all other things love endures

the nurturing gratuity of feminine bonds
describe the unmapped terrain of our nature
a nonlinear narrative asserts our united oaths

the company we keep pronounces our prayers
the company we keep sustains our constitution

above all other things amity enriches

deepens our faith
enhances our confidence
heightens our convictions
supplements our trust
eliminates our fears

no matter how breakable we feel
no matter how disheartened we are

the company we keep keeps us breathing

**


Throughout my lifetime, I have been fortunate enough to encounter a great number of tremendous humans.  Some of them stayed for the briefest of moments, some stayed long enough for me to learn something either about myself or the world and others have entered my life and are here to stay.  I am grateful to every single soul for their lessons and their love, however short-lived, transistory or lasting.  But it is to those who have planted roots, those constant in my journey that I dedicate this to.  You all know who you are.

Just a friendly reminder to you all, love your people with all of your might.  Appreciate them.  Support them and be kind.  Never slight or antagonize or lie to them.  Your people are your estate, treat them as such.  Build them up, encourage them and let them shine.  Life is too short to mistreat your treasured few.

I get by with a little help from my friends …

In propinquity,
Nic

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Unfinished Woman


Unfinished Woman

I am
by definition
an unfinished woman

a fragmented heart
an uneven dilemma

follow here

the perilous route
of a prosy poetess
defined only by work
on a theory of love

& when I perish

when the earth moves
they will discover my
bones embedded deep
within the rocky below

bones in the shape
of curious decrees
sentences stretching
for long distances

dispatching big words
transmitting veracities
indecipherable to the
average naked eye

I am
by definition
an unfinished woman

a tortured daughter
an uncompromised lover

follow here

my resolute advice
my unrivaled practice

write your failures brilliantly

**


So yesterday I worried I was facing writer’s block.  As soon as I completed my blog and shared it, I wrote a small chunk of dialogue for ‘Mute’.  Maybe saying it out loud helps?  I was grateful for the tiny flash and to have a small conversation set up the next stage of the story.  I also learned a few new things about my current characters I didn’t know before, that was exciting.  I employed the correct grammar too so let’s hope I make the grade.

I wrote the above poem yesterday.  It made me cry as I scribbled.  It came from a deep corner of my heart from the places I am most pure, about the pieces of me that so few know or who couldn’t be bothered to see.    

I’m still out of sorts today but it could be the gloomy fog and rain outside and the fact that so many of my people are in current states of disarray and I worry about them.  My wishes for them are peaceful breathing and optimal outcomes. 

Is it Friday yet?

Wild wild horses, we’ll ride them someday …

In propinquity,
Nic

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Tacenda


Tacenda

leave it to stillness
intentions unspoken
implications hushed

tacit

words better left unsaid
matters to be passed over

in silence

deafening silence

             inferred
            deferred

permit quietude
solemn gestures

oblique

matters not to be mentioned
emotions unable to breathe

stifled
sated

your truth
my truth

the whole truth

& nothing but

left to nothingness
purpose undeclared
words left to the wind

tacit

you and me
me and you

silent
broken

**


It may have happened; writer’s block may have set in. Just a little bit.  I suppose it was bound to happen after such a fruitful stream of creative writing.  When I started writing this current story, I slammed into a wall it seems but I’m hoping it’s just quick creative cat nap instead of an actual block.  I know the whole story now, I just haven’t been able to get it down on paper.  My noodle feels cluttered full of junk and work and worldly concerns.  Perhaps another news hiatus might be healthy.  With all of the goings on in Boston and the foiled terror attack here on Canadian soil, my thoughts before sleep aren’t of imagined characters and their colorful stories, they are deeply rooted in reality.  I need to find the way back to that creative space and turn ‘Mute’ into a full story instead of bare bones writing.  I am still scribbling notes but notes can only take me so far.  I need writing time, alone time with these people to do their story justice.  I also vow to stop bucking the rigid rules of grammar with my stubbornness and write the dialogue properly despite my intense hatred for that one little rule of the comma.  It is a rule I cannot escape if I ever have any hope of publishing one day.  Delighted though that Ruthie was the only person to ever notice it – just for her and for the sake of being correct, I will write with better rules and respect for them. 

I did manage to squeeze out a poem that I transferred from my writing book (which I spent several hours tinkering with over the weekend) to my Teapot.  Sometimes when I’m drained of inspiration, a few hours in those pages can really help.

Sidenote: it’s only Tuesday.  I’m going to try hard to quell my crank.  Try being the operative word.  An equal combination of idiots and outside static are grating on my last nerve but I will press on.  And smile.  It’s what I do.  The only way to battle hypocrisy and the grand double standard is to kill 'em with kindness.  

Who’s gonna ride your wild horses?

In propinquity,
Nic