I survived a long arduous week of work. Even though it was only a four day week since
today is Good Friday, it felt more like six or maybe even eternity for it to
come to a close. I was grateful because
there were rewards at the end of the stressful run of 9 to 5, there was a
delicious glass of red waiting for me and my friends from the Open Heart
Forgery gang.
April is national poetry month so for the launch of OHF’s
April issue, we gathered at City Hall for a reading and celebration of
words. I zero time throughout the day to
practice reading aloud which I often like to do so when I stand up to speak I
don’t stammer or sound like an idiot.
Public speaking has never come easily for me when I am before a crowd of
people about orate my art, the stuff that comes from deeply personal corners of
my person. However, the more I stand and
read, the easier it gets and the more confident I become. Listening to others and soaking up their
words, the ones they take great care to string together, that helps too. It’s a sense of unity that you can only
experience by participating. It has been
an important creative building block for me and I wouldn’t have that without
ever becoming part of the OHF family.
I submitted a poem for the April issue and was pleased
that it was included. Donal Power, the
brains and heart behind Open Heart Forgery has had to move on to the big city
of Toronto for employment with his family to soon follow. I missed the last Left Bank reading he
attended so I wanted to say something publicly to acknowledge the impact his
vision and founding of OHF has had on me.
Had it not been for seeing the little blurb in The Coast about
submitting, I wouldn’t have this blog, be able to read in public nor would I
have been so prolific in the volume of writing I’ve done and finished. I owe him a debt of gratitude that I’m not
entirely sure he’ll ever understand and I am certain many others feel the same
way. To thank him properly, and Rowena,
because she was instrumental in helping me overcome my fears to stand in front
of others to read, I wrote this poem and it was published in the April issue.
Let Yourself Be
(for Donal and Rowena)
let yourself be surprised by
whispering angels pining
under a gigantic full moon
while the Heavens shimmer
in poems and novels
in stories and essays
let yourself be amazed by
the choir of honeyed voices
peacefully lamenting affection
while every star in the sky shines
for paintings and drawings
for sculptures and architecture
let yourself be elevated by
the kindness of poet hearts
be heard by magical ears and
stand in the rays of contentment
let yourself be honoured
let yourself go and be free
just let yourself be
This is precisely how I feel, about Open Heart Forgery,
about the those who congregate, and about the influence Donal and Rowena have
had on my creative life and my person as a whole. They are kind-hearted and passionate, they
are creative and caring, and they are co-conspirators. They have made a difference for so many
voices who longed to be heard, who are talented and just as passionate about
writing and poetry and words. Together,
in me, they fostered a confidence that I hadn’t otherwise figured out how to
tap into. So, if two people are
deserving of a public display of poetry, it is them.
The City Hall gathering was wonderful. In a stately room, with our Mayor, we came
together for poetry and for our passion.
David Pretty, one of the several good humans I have had the fine pleasure
of meeting, started the evening off with an incredibly moving diatribe about
OHF and Donal and what it all means for he and the rest of us alike. The piece of writing he shared aloud, knocked
my little prepared speech out of my head because he said all the things I
couldn’t have so eloquently. When my
name was called to read, I intended to be poised and own the room but instead,
when I got up there and looked out to see David and then Rowena looking back at
me, I choked up and succumbed to emotion.
All of the beautiful things David talked about hit home and it struck
me, just how heavily Heaven was. That I
had come so far in my creative pursuits, advanced as an artist and was so lucky
to look out and see that I wasn’t alone.
Choking through tears of pride and perhaps a few for sadness knowing
that last night would likely be the last time to see Rowena before she is to go
to Toronto to live with Donal, I prefaced the reading of the poem from the
April issue by saying that in short, because of them, I learned how to trust my
artist and come and stand among them, instead of straying off to the sidelines
as a lonely and scared observer. That,
more than anything, is what they gave me when I walked into Open Heart
Forgery. A little kindness and faith can
go a long way. That, to me, is a
powerful thing.
Open Heart Forgery at City Hall, a special night.
The best thing that ever happened to me was having my
heart broken by a stupid boy. I suppose
I owe him a bit of thanks too because so much of that poetry is what propelled
me to submit the first time. And so much
of that poetry has been read aloud and exorcised and was the catalyst for a
great many conversations about the writing process and what drives us
emotionally as writers. His brief appearance
in my story was for one reason only, for me to grow, so that I could become a
better writer, a better person, a confident woman and a happier one. My first love is and always will be
writing. Open Heart Forgery taught me
that. And, when the real fortunate son comes along and is willing to drop anchor and
stay to compliment my full and crazy life and I his, I will have more words to
write, to read and I’ll do so with self-reliance, gratitude and passion.
I am proud to be part of Open Heart Forgery and am
pleased to know that there are like-minded people, goodhearted people who want
to carry on Donal’s work. I will do my
part, what I can to see that it happens.
We will write on, we will succeed.
Happy long Easter weekend.
In propinquity,
Nic
